It's interesting to me that I feel compelled to write “I’m
sorry” to you as a reader.
I’m
sorry I’m not further along on my journey / path.
I’m
sorry I keep going backwards.
I’m
sorry I keep bumping into unexpected emotional triggers that I have to process.
I’m
sorry I’m not able to write joyful stuff yet.
I suspect that if you and I knew each other in person, this
might be the point in time where I would be annoying you as a friend.
Where my still processing stuff might start
feeling old to you.
Where thoughts of “get
over it” or “how many times do I have
to hear about <<insert whatever story / memory I’m fixated on at the
moment>>” or “why can’t you do
<<insert whatever activity>> without tearing up / crying” might
start popping into your head.
Perhaps “enough
already” is the prevailing thought and you might start to avoid me as it
takes too much of your emotional energy to deal with me.
If it helps you any, I’m having the same thoughts about me
too.
I’m annoying myself.
Some days it takes me too much emotional energy to deal with me.
I just haven’t quite figured out to how to avoid me.
Copyright 2012. All rights reserved.
Patience is a term that, when pronounced, sound exactly the same as patients. When one is ill, it can and often does take a very long time to heal.
ReplyDeleteWe all must have patience. Let those who have patience stand by you though however long this takes.
I will keep reading for as long as you keep writing.
Take care!
Christy
I am truly humbled to call you friend.
ReplyDeleteYou're exactly where you are on your journey / path, becuase it's YOUR journey.
ReplyDeleteBackwards, sideways, up, and down -- you've chosen to keep moving. Yay you! Pause and praise yourself for keepin' goin'.
Unexpected emotional triggers that you have to process. Wow. She's human like the rest of us!
You'll write joyful stuff when you're ready and not a dang moment sooner!
As for annoying, I'd tell you if you were. :)
Until then, keep writing, keep talking, and I'll keep being patient! Stop laughing! I can be patient when I want to be!
Yes, I'm laughing. I'll hold you to being patient. Just remember that.....
ReplyDelete